It's What's For Dinner
}} Haley realizes there is a closer place to find a spellcaster than Cliffport. Cast * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶ * Celia ◀ ▶ * Solt's Donkey ◀ ▶ * Vaarsuvius' Green Bird (as food) ◀ * Polly Transcript Haley: Darn, that's tasty, Belkar, what did you season this with? Belkar: Just a little pepper. That's the natural flavor. Haley: Well, if you see any more of those birds, let me know. We should eat this good every night. Haley: You're sure you don't want any, Celia? There's plenty left. Celia: Vegetarian. Haley: Ah. Right. That makes sense. Belkar: More meat for Mr. Scruffy, then. He's a stone-cold carnivore. Celia: Doesn't anyone think it's odd that tropical birds were flying around in this climate? Haley: Have you ever read an encounter table? Nothing surprises me anymore. Belkar: I once fought 1d3 dire camels in a swamp. No joke. Haley: And wait, how do you know that the birds were tropical? You barely know about humans at all. Celia: I'm an air creature, I've had a lot of bird friends. Celia: I'm here for you, but you need to admit that you have a problem. Bird: squawk! Polly wants a cracker! Celia: Damn it, Polly, you can't solve all your problems with saltines!! Haley: Yeah, well, after a few months of nothing but rice and the occasional piece of fruit, a little roasted poultry is too good to pass up. Belkar: Don't look a gift parrot in the beak, I always say. Haley stands still. Haley: AHHHH! Haley: I am so stupid!!! Haley: So, SO stupid!! Belkar: Well I wasn't going to be the one to say it, but... Haley: "A gift horse in the mouth" ... I can't believe I didn't think of this before!! Celia: What is it, Haley? Is it about the parrots? Haley: What? No, it's not about the stupid parrots, Celia. Forget the parrots, they're completely irrelevant. Haley: This is about where we're headed. Pack everything on the Corpse Cart, I'm turning it around. Belkar: WHAT? Belkar: Oh, do NOT tell me we're going back to that awful city. Haley: We're not. Haley: But we don't need to go all the way to Cliffport, either. We already know a cleric in the area. Haley: We just need to head southwest rather than southeast, and cut through the underbrush— The party arrives at the Sunken Valley. Magic Mouth: —while rare, require immediate clerical attention. Magic Mouth: Statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Potion Administration. Services are not intended to diagnose or treat any disease or curse. D&D Context * Random Encounter tables determine what creatures characters may encounter depending on what climate they are in. With the removal of typical habitats from the Monster Manual, an uncritical DM might allow the sort of odd encounter Belkar mentions. Trivia * The title plays on the "Beef. It's What's For Dinner" ad campaign by the Beef Checkoff Program promoting incorporating beef into a healthy diet. * Belkar's line in panel 6 echos the prophesy that the Oracle gave Haley in #331, which is what prompts Haley to remember it. * The magic mouth continues the legal disclaimer gag from #324. External Links * 564}} View the comic * 83030}} View the discussion thread Category:Return to the Oracle Category:Uses Magic Mouth